What we could have been 

It’s the middle of the night,
The lights are gone,
It’s too hot to sleep. 

I stare at my ceiling,
And start counting the stars,
The stars that I cannot see. 

My mind wanders,
And you appear in my mind,
And I know.

I know that it would’ve been difficult,
I know that it is now no longer possible,
But I wonder what we could’ve been. 

The street lights shine,
The silence continues,
I toss and turn.

My defenses have been enabled,
My laughter restored,
There’s still a hole where others can not see.

I try to forget,
I move on,
But I know.

I know that you aren’t the first,
I know you won’t be the last,
So I wonder what we could have been.

We would’ve been equals – standing shoulder to shoulder in the fight of life. 
We would’ve been best friends – listening to the pains of life. 
We would’ve been partners – keeping an eye on each other’s back. 
We would’ve been family – providing a place of shelter and comfort. 

But you. 
You gave up before we even started. 
You didn’t give us a chance to begin. 
You fled at the first alternate option. 
You were a damn coward. 

But I know. 
I know the hurt inside my heart, 
I know the facade outside my soul,
I know that it really wasn’t your fault. 

But it hurts. 

It’s the middle of the night,
The lights are gone,
It’s too hot to sleep. 
So I sit up.. And write a poem about what we could’ve been. 

unforgivingAthena

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My Loss? His Loss?

You know, we tend to try to be positive about ourselves on this blog — despite all the complaining. Especially me, cause I’m naturally narcissistic like that. But over the last few days, I’ve been feeling disgruntled about life, feeling confused about wtf happened in Panda’s head that just made him stop contacting me at all — despite various casual conversational starters that I throw at him, and feeling a little bit at loss.

So I decided to express and release my feels in the best way I know how… by writing a poem that makes absolutely no sense to anyone. Including me. Heh.

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Vocaloid “No Logic” English Lyrics

Isn’t it fine to be just enough? 大体それで良いんじゃないの
Isn’t it fine even if it’s rough? 適当だって良いんじゃないの

Hello! Merry belated Christmas, happy belated new year and all that… Let’s see, to sum up everything that happened to me since my last (Nov 26) post:
~Nothing worth mentioning happened with Golfer
~I went for drinks/to catch up with Student X
~I escaped the cold for two weeks in Singapore/Malaysia visiting my grandparents and attending my older cousin’s wedding
~I got my fill of holiday family time
~@unforgivingathena and I recorded a song cover, which now has me itching to try another

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Heading into a battlefield

You’ve often heard “All’s fair in Love and War”. I’ve never understood the truth of this statement until recently, 2 weeks ago — actually. When @sarcasticaphrodite and @bittersweetselene decided that the negotiations had gone on long enough and they declared war. No strategy, no meetings — straight into war. It’s ok, at least they gave me a long enough period before the commencement of the first battle. As the chinese saying goes “counter soldiers with a general, water with an earth dam” (兵来将挡 水来土掩).

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Love me more when I’m sick.

I’m usually pretty cold. My friends know that I barely give out hugs and I dislike being touched by someone. However, when I’m sick, I really start to feel lonely, especially when I’m away from family. Continue reading