Online Dating Discoveries

One of my close friends thought it’d be fun to try online dating, so I thought . . . why not? She’s honestly the sort that was TOTALLY against online dating and she hardly ever tries anything new. For her to actually make an account and start trying out an app to find someone made me realize . . . that I should give this a shot too. At the end of the day, the two of us, including Selene, were totally . . . over this online dating. No more.The three of us tried Coffee Meets Bagel because that seemed more decent than Tinder in terms of giving us people that weren’t fuckbois. We’ve all heard through the grape vine that Tinder is mostly for hookups, and none of us were interested in that.

At first, the whole getting several bagels a day seemed to be fascinating. You’d wonder what type of people would like you and what type of people would be out there on the Discover function. After several days, the excitement definitely dies down for many reasons.

  1. A bagel costs 385 beans. You’re given around 2500 beans, so if you do some Math, you’ll find that you can only like 6 people. (I honestly didn’t really like this idea of spending beans on someone. It made this whole relationship/dating thing like a marketplace. I’m imagining a line of guys and girls out there and people are calling out prices. In this case, the guys and girls can choose whether they’d accept the price. Sorry. My imagination.)
  2. Okay so just 6 people to like . . . that should go by very quickly! WRONG! I find that when you first start the app at some city, you’ll get the best of the crop. As the days go by, the selection gets worse and worse (i.e. level of absurdity goes high).
  3. Sure, you can filter people, but the filter preferences is totally buggy. Even though we’d set our preferences as X, Y, Z, people on Discover often don’t meet those preferences and same with on the actual “Likes” part. I once had a 40 year old like me. I set my max age limit to be 30.
  4. The douche bags and trolls are too prevalent. (I’ll always remember the guy who wrote that he is egotistical and the one that says he just wants a bagel and likes bagels with lots of cream cheese. One guy asked me why I only had one profile picture. I ended my conversation with him just like that.)
  5. Guys often don’t read the profiles to see the preferences. (Okay. I get that guys are visual creatures, but does it make sense to like me when I’ve put down interests like reading and watching movies and the guys enjoy doing all these sports? No.)
  6. The bizarre guys show up. (Though I don’t really like saying someone is weird, in this case, I have to say . . . I’ve seen too many . . . out of the ordinary guys on this app. One guy said he only pees sitting down. Another guy had on his profile that he likes poop and wants a girl to poop on him. One had I love Jesus and I look forward to what each day brings due to Jesus. Okay.)
  7. Some don’t make much sense. (One guy appreciates his date not being a flaker slash wanker. Huh? A Christian pastor liked me–a Buddhist. What . . .? I go to the washroom three times a day. Okay . . .)
  8. Some like listing their Myers-Briggs results (ie I am ENTJ, whatever – I’m always reminded of the times when we were forced to take this personality test during some class. Is it really necessary to list 4 characters? Sigh.)
  9. Many believe that stating your ethnicity will somehow make another person like you more. (I see that a lot with Korean guys. They’ll write “I am Korean”. There’s already an ethnicity section where you list you are Asian, Caucasian, South East Asian, etc. It’s sort of unnecessary to give more info; it makes me feel like they’re trying to capitalize on their own ethnicity to sell themselves.)

At the end of the day, all three of us were just tossing out beans like crazy and then quitting. No more. (I’ve also setting different city locations to see the selection out there. They’re all pretty bad.)

One of my friends actually did go on three dates with three different guys. They all ended badly. She said they were all “awkward”. When I tried to dig deeper, she couldn’t really say why they were awkward. She just knew that something was off.

Overall, this experience has taught us that we’re perfectly fine being single. I would not date someone that I would not even want to talk to. I just can’t. The longer I’m on this app, the more grossed out or freaked out I am about the guys out there. Trying to find a guy that you would consider being friends with on that app is nearly impossible. I’d rather spend time with my friends or even just lounge around at my own place.

I’m happily choosing to be single,

cynicalartemis

 

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